It feels like 6℉ here in NYC today, but my heart is feeling the warmth, since my favorite bitch of all bitches Bai Ling is back in the news. Yes, bitch was spotted making out with hatchetface Mickey Rourke at the Chateau Marmont in LA the other night. The two were going at it pretty hard, and our Asian ho probably gave fish jerky face here a solid hand job.

I was not planning to watch the Oscars this year, but now I will, since the degree of the red carpet freakshow-ness has been kicked up a notch with Bai Ling potentially making an appearance with her flavor of the month, the soon-to-be Best Actor nominee Mickey Rourke (for The Wrestler). I love this union! It takes a lot of courage to wake up next to Mickey every morning, but I have no doubt that our bitch can stomach it. She has seen worse.

Tags: Bai Ling, Mickey Rourke, Oscar, Red Carpet

Ok, please mark this under I-Bet-It-Hurts-More-Than-Getting-My-Balls-Kicked, some 39 year-old Thai woman named Kanchana Kaetkaew, who is also known as the “Scorpion Queen“, has set a Guinness World record by putting a scorpion in her mouth for over two minutes. Her royal Scorpionida-highness carried out this weird feat in Pattaya and was assisted by her husband, Bunathawee Siengwong. Interestingly, her hubby is known as the “Centipede King“. The two were married in a haunted house on 2006. Hmm, wanna take a guess at what food items they served their guests at their wedding reception? I bet this was the liquor of the evening.
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Tags: Bai Ling, Bobby Trendy, Bunathawee Siengwong, Kanchana Kaetkaew, Pattaya, Scorpions, Weird News

Aw.. who knew the ultimate Asian Freakshow could talk politics? Bai Ling attended the opening of “Third Eye Blonde” last week and had to show off her tiger tattoo in front of the camera. The reporter then asked her who should be the president. She first said that she’s not familiar with the two candidates (I bet she doesn’t even know what their names are) and said the president would need to have “a bigger heart, a kinder soul and a pure intention”. She’s not sure if either candidate has these qualities. Wow, who knew Bai Ling could give her answer with such common sense!? I always thought she could only speak slut language.

She went on to say that she should run for president. If she was president, she would “demolish all the countries.” Bitch thinks countries creates war and boundaries. Bai oh Bai, do you not know that you cannot run for prez since you were not born here? Maybe you can try and seduce two-thirds of all the old geezers in the Senate and House of Rep. and have them amend the right of who can run for President. If this is amended, I would very much like to see a Bai Ling/Tila Tequila ticket. Together they will outslut the opposite party and wear practically nothing at the Presidential debates. You know the first thing they will do upon winning the election is to legalize prostitution. They have to take care of their friends there.
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Tags: Bai Ling, election, freakshow, presidential