I think I just found my whack off material for 2009. Oops sorry, I meant my calendar for 2009. Yes, let me present you the 2009 Asian Men Redefined calendar. Twelve Asian hotties will strut their stuff for you every month in 12″ x 12″ glossy pics shot by San Francisco photographer Dannydan. Half of the proceeds from the sale of this calendar will be donated to the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, a charity organization that fights HIV/AIDS in our communities. So you will be supporting a great cause if you buy this calendar. You should also buy a copy for the bitches you know who only date white guys.

By the way, if you think you have a hot face and a hot body and want to help promote the hotness of Asian men, you can apply to be one of the twelve models to be featured on the 2010 calendar. Just send your info with some impressive face/body shots to info@asianmenredefined.com. Please feel free to send them to me first for some constructive criticism if you like. I promise I won’t share them with the cougars I know.  There are tons of them running around in New York City.

Click here to buy the calendar.

Tags: 2009 Asian Men Redefined calendar, 2010 Asian Men Redefined calendar, Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, Dannydan

I am glad 2008 is almost behind us. What a bitch of a year it was! You know you’re screwed when the Dow Jones industrial average plunged much faster than Tila Tequila’s 5-minute fame and Zhang Ziyi’s chances of making it big in Hollywood. 2008 was also a year filled with weird news. Here is my top ten list of “The Weird News From Asia” in descending order. For the fun of it, you should go over the list from the bottom to the top.
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Tags: Bizzare Ritual, Calligraphy, Commuters, Dangers of Kissing, Funny Names, Horns, Orgy, Porn At Work, Roaches, Screwing Park Benches, Weird Asian News 2008

Today was one of those days when I hated my job and thought it was the worst job ever. But some bitch at work sent me this video clip and I decided, immediately after watching it, that my job was not so bad after all.

A train station in India is having a problem with some nasty monkeys bothering the passengers. So some genius who worked there thought of the scarecrow tactic. He hired a man and dressed him up as a monkey (a large one, mind you) to scare off the real monkeys. Couldn’t they have given him a friendlier looking monkey costume, instead of this evil demon looking one?! By the looks of it he’s probably scaring off the passengers, not the monkeys.

If you ask me, I think the monkeys are just sitting there and laughing their asses off at this poor fool who walks like he just threw his back out.  They probably think to themselves, “what a bitch job this is!”, and continue to eat their bananas before they set off to intimidate more passengers.

Tags: human monkey, India train station, job, monkey, train station

I swear dumb Asian bitches are everywhere these days. Just yesterday I posted a blog about this dumb Japanese drunk getting arrested for beating up her boyfriend who was watching Kim Kardashian and her big ass on TV. Today I learned that some 52 year old Japanese ajumma was arrested for embezzling money from other people’s bank account to sustain her lifestyle as a hardcore Bae Yong Joon (BYJ) fan.

See, chasing after a chick with a dick is an expensive hobby. Bitch has to travel to Tokyo everytime our girl is in town. She also has to pick up every product/souvenir with him in/on it. Pretty soon this hobby of hers started burning a big hole in her BYJ’s wallet so she had to figure out a way to make more money. She discovered a way to withdraw money from other people’s bank account at different ATM machines. Ka-ching!

If you ask me, I think the one that should be arrested is BYJ and not this crazy ass fan. His irresistible feminine charm has caused her to commit this crime.  The authority should send his ass to prison. I am sure he will make a perfect little bitch for someone who reminds me of this dude

Tags: Ajumma, Bae Yong Joon, Dumb Bitch, embezzlement

Usually this only happens to me. Some 46 year old violent drunk named Naomi Masuda of Port St Lucie, Florida was arrested after she attacked her boyfriend during an arguement about Kim Kardashian’s reality show, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians“.

Naomi caught her boyfriend watching his favorite reality show starring the former porn star and accused him of being disrespectful to her for watching that piece of thrash. The two started arguing over his fascination with Kim and his fondness for porn. Naomi was probably pissed that Kim’s ass was bigger than hers. She then started throwing things at him, including a vase that hit him in the face and caused his nose to bleed. She also damaged a bunch of his personal stuff (including his 1985 porn collection, I bet).

The police later arrived and arrested Naomi. They described her as being “highly intoxicated”. I cannot believe someone would get arrested because of that big skanky ass that belongs to Kim Kardashian! Bitch should have calmed herself down. It’s not worth going to prison over a stupid reality show.

Tags: Domestic Violence, Kim Kardashian, Naomi Masuda, Violent Drunk

I was a big fan of pageants when I was a kid. Not only did I love watching them, I also liked playing beauty pageants with the girls in my neighborhood. I would always be the winner. Bitches that I despised would always nab the “Miss Congenialty” title, with no crowns on their heads whatsoever. Crowns were made of manila paper, and sashes  were created from extra strength toilet paper so that they wouldn’t tear off easily. I digress.

Speaking of crowns and pageants, there have been some rumors surrounding the winner of the 2008 Miss Vietnam pageant, Tran Thi Thuy Dung. Rumors were that she was stripped of her crown since she did not graduate from high school. The officials put the rumors to rest and explained to the press that Miss Tran did not violate the pageant rules and will keep her title. The competition rules state that all Vietnamese females who are between 18-27 years of age, have no children, are at least 160cm tall, have never had cosmetic surgery, are single and are high school students or above may enter the competition. Miss Tran was still attending high school when she entered the pageant so she clearly did not violate these rules.  By the way, which 18 year old still attends high school? The education system in Vietnam is probably different than the one here. When I was 18, I was a college freshman and was already over beauty pageants. I traded my passion for it with something more elegant and athletic… Synchronized Swimming

By the way, what’s with the “no cosmetic surgery” rule!? The Miss Korea pageant officials tried that this year and look who they ended up with!? A little work on contestants who need it will ensure a high standard of beauty and aesthetics in pageants. Now you may call me a mean bitch after this.

Tags: beauty pageants, Miss Vietnam 2008, Tran Thi Thuy Dung