I love traveling on Singapore Airlines (SQ). To me it’s one of the best airlines in the world. The airline’s famous flight attendants, also known as the SQ girls, provide such attentive and friendly inflight service that you don’t want to deplane even after you’ve been on a 13-hour flight with them. These skinny bitches are usually polite and friendly until you criticize their Louis Vuitton (LV) handbags, or tell them you have a bomb with you. The latter happened to a Taiwanese woman in her 50s who boarded a Singapore Airline flight from Taipei to Singapore a few days ago.

Madam Wu was about to place her luggage in the overhead compartment when a flight attendant approached her to help her with her luggage. According to Madam Wu, as the skinny bitch placed her luggage in the overhead compartment, she said: “My, this is heavy, don’t tell me there’s a bomb in there.” Then, under the impression that they were joking, Madam Wu swiftly replied “Yes, It’s a bomb”. She meant it as a wisecrack but the flight attendant took it seriously. Soon after making the remark, Madam Wu was escorted off the plane by 20 security guards. She was pissed and later told the TV reporters that it was the flight attendant who first cracked the joke about the bomb and dumb bitch was under the impression that they were joking and went along with it. The airline later confirmed that it was not possible for their cabin crew to make such a statement since they are well trained and know too well not to make comments on such sensitive issues. I think either Madam Wu was hearing voices in her head, or the SQ girl spotted her carrying a knock-off LV handbag. If there is one thing the SQ girls can’t stand, it’s the sight of a knockoff LV, since those bitches all buy authentic ones.

Madam Wu should know better not to joke about airport security matters like that. Once I was late for a flight leaving the infamous NY LaGuardia airport. I was rushing to get through security that I forgot to remove my shoes. The TSA screener made me remove my shoes and go through the metal detector again. I was so pissed that I asked her why I would possibly want to blow up my Prada shoes. I knew I was fucked when she gave me the oh-no-you-didn’t look after I uttered those words . Fortunately she gave me back my shoes and I quickly gathered my stuff and walked away. I thought she was going to put on her latex glove and give me a body cavity search (I think I would have enjoyed it if she did). In short, don’t fuck around with people who work in the airport or on the airplane these days. They can make your life one hell of a misery.

Tags: Airplane Security, Cabin Crew, Flight Attendant, Inflight Service, Singapore Airlines, SQ Girls